1 April 2014
I Want To Talk About Something…But I Don’t Know What To Say!
Sometimes a client will have something they strongly feel the need to discuss with their therapist, something to uncover and look at – and while it can feel substantial, upon inspection it can be invisible.
The urge to talk and share our feelings – no matter how clear or murky they may be – can be so strong that we realize that the thing we actually want to talk about is less clear. In other words, we can only partially describe what’s on our mind – in fact, it may not involve the mind at all, but emotions that seem detached from thoughts.
What can you do in this instance? First off, for many people, seeing a therapist is understanding that you alone may not be able to understand everything that’s going on with you. So, what’s the worst that can happen? You bring this thing with you into the room, and you unload it in front of your therapist in whatever distinct or indistinct form it’s available in, and you say “That’s all I got – what does it mean?” Your therapist might be able to work with just that, or she might note what you’ve provided and tell you that it’s something that the two of you can explore on-and-off throughout subsequent sessions together.
I suppose the thing to remember is that therapy, ideally, is a two-person process. The heavy lifting is spread across the therapeutic alliance, between therapist and client. The therapist should allow you to feel comfortable bringing personal material into the room, no matter how well understood it initially is.