25 January 2023
Life is complex, and people are messy
In April of this year I will be spending just under $2k in order for my partner and I to fly down to Texas, so that we may spend two-and-a-half days outside of a city I’m ambivalent about, in order to spend time with an 81 year-old man who still calls me “champ.”
I haven’t seen my father in years, most of this owing to the pandemic. A lot has happened during this time; not just my turning 50 and he not being able to visit, nor his turning 80 and my likewise inability to do the same. My family has a lot of secrets, and not a little drama, and much of it came to a head nearly three years ago when (takes deep breath) I received a phone message informing me that my murdered uncle’s stolen guitar was uncovered and sitting in a recording studio in New Jersey.
Can you guess why I have a sideline as a fiction writer?
In any case, I have been coming back to a phrase I’ve been using in interviews while I’m publicizing a new novel that I have out. That phrase is: “life is complex, and people are messy.” The reason I reach for that phrase is because my book (and much of my writing) is about real (if fictional) people, and if I know anything about real people — both from my personal experiences and from my work as a psychotherapist — it’s that we are not simple (though we may present as such), nor are we drawn with clean lines. We can be contradictory, self-centered, lovable and maddening — sometimes within the same ten minutes.
I’m offering the above not because I want to be the talk of someone’s dinner party, but because I wish to also talk inclusively about myself as much as about some objective idea of “real [that is to say, other] people.” Which is to say, I am one too. I’m also putting this out there because I think sometimes we conveniently two-dimensionalize each other when we are overwhelmed or feeling insecure, convincing ourselves that simple people drawn with clear lines actually do exist. It’s certainly convenient, and certainly understandable when we are under duress. But I think we owe it to ourselves and to society as a whole to see how we are messy, and how (yes) life is complex, if only to develop the capacity for understanding ourselves and each other, with self-compassion and empathy for those around us.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
filed under: complexity• matt cahill• parents• psychotherapy• society
14 April 2022
Business Therapy Upate
About a year-and-a-half ago, I started a new venture within my private psychotherapy practice, which I call Business Therapy. It was an idea that had been brewing for a number of years, having worked with so many entrepreneurs, small business owners, and those involved in the bustling Toronto startup community. I realized that some of the same issues that afflict relationships between couples, and individuals with the relationship they have with themselves, applied in very interesting ways to business owners.
The response has been quite impressive, and it seems that there is a strong need out there for guidance and counselling to help business owners communicate with their partners, as well as working on their own personal challenges.
If this applies to you, or if you know someone who may be interested, feel free to visit my site for more information: https://downtowntherapy.ca/business-therapy/
#help #startup #psychotherapy #entrepreneurs #business #community #businessowners
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
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