17 February 2015
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Perspectives on Couples Therapy
I thought I would share an interesting article from Ben Kaplan of the National Post. In this extended piece he profiles couples therapy in a rather unique way: in finding context for his own relationship discord, Kaplan finds a subject matter (Ellis, himself a couples therapist) who is experiencing his own issues at home. The article contains some very interesting perspectives on how therapists approach couples therapy (particularly more progressive therapists, like Sue Johnson), as well as a brief history of couples therapy (though I know some will feel it incomplete).
My take: The irony of being in a healthy, committed relationship (whether married or not) is that sometimes it is just as important to discuss the two parties as individuals, and to appreciate what being a healthy (or less-than-healthy) individual brings to the relationship (and its inherently multilateral needs and necessary compromises), than it is to hyper-focus on preserving the relationship itself.
Some couples get hung-up on “saving” the relationship itself, to the extent that it prevents them from seeing each other as individuals collaborating with each other, with individual needs which sometimes challenge working as a team; and how those two people’s histories and behaviours colour and inflect the couplehood.
Obviously, this is a complex topic! I have experience working with couples, so if you have any questions please feel free to get in touch.
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