1 May 2024
The phone call
There’s a line that Martin Short gives to Steve Martin in the first season of the streaming mystery-comedy Only Murders in the Building, in relation to their much younger accomplice, played by Selena Gomez. At one point Short says to Martin, like an admonition: “They don’t use the phone!“
There’s an issue with “the phone”. Not smartphones per se, but making (and receiving) actual phone calls. And there’s a healthy population of younger people who eschew this mode of communication. In an age of texting, messaging and emailing, part of me intuitively wonders whether an overemphasis on visual culture (emphasizing, no surprise, visual media, even if it is purely textual) makes an auditory-only experience less certain, more potentially anxiety-provoking without a visual aid to provide continuity. In the way that an experienced swimmer who might’ve never dived deeply below the surface of the water tries snorkeling, where you can’t breathe but are blessed with recognizing the vibrant, humbling universe that lies beneath the surface of ocean.
I write the above and then stop and reflect on my 70s-90s TV-addled youth, and I wonder whether the target I’m looking for is more diffuse. Less certain
I also don’t want to be a fuddy-duddy about culture and make reductionist assumptions around entire generations (<- this should be a t-shirt).
Some people who are interested in seeking psychotherapy aren’t aware that — in the event an in-person session isn’t possible, or a video call is inconvenient (and there are many ways this can be) — a phone call can be, in a strange (if antiquated) way, more liberating. You don’t have to worry about making eye contact. You don’t have to worry about being (literally) seen. You don’t have to worry about someone judging the environment where you’re calling from (even though both you and I know that they shouldn’t in the first place). It can be surprisingly vulnerable, and with the absence of a visual aid, even meditative. For a variety of reasons, many clients prefer it.
Something to keep in mind!
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
filed under: anxiety• choice• general info• media• psychotherapy• shame• society
8 February 2024
Welcome to the cloud?
It’s not rare for someone, whether or not they’ve been in therapy before, to feel as if they don’t know where to start. What to talk about first? Do we jump into childhood stuff or unload about the so-called “small stuff” that’s been piling up.
While there are certainly sessions that focus on That One Important Topic, it’s not rare for a client to come in with a cloud of things jockeying for position in their head. There may not be a Thing but rather a collection or a constellation of things — no one piece that, on its own, seems concerning, but a host of things that make for a muddled perspective. Often in this case it can be relieving to lay everything out on the table so that we can see the myriad of moving pieces going on in our life. And, as balls on a pool table, you and I can look at these issues from different angles and see how best to approach them.
It’s a busy world out there and, especially with added stress from exterior things such as social media and frayed relationships, it can be hard to make sense of it all, let alone figure out our priorities. Therapy can help recognize patterns of behaviour and ways in which we might prioritize (or de-prioritize) things that might not be healthy.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
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