23 April 2025
Scary Times
Even if you aren’t an “always online” person, it’s hard not to notice how difficult the world around us has become in such a short period of time. It’s not like it didn’t have its already-serious fires that needed putting out, but now things have begun to slide in other ways — politically, economically, socially.
It’s hard to keep our heads up when it feels as if the sky is going to fall. Whether acutely or accumulatively, we can find ourselves “wearing” the anxiety, the lack of confidence, the not-knowing.
In times like this — and I gotta say, I hate the fact that the precedent is only recent — I think of the lockdowns during the first two years of COVID hitting North America, and what made things worthwhile for us:
- friendships
- movement
- self-compassion
- looking forward
Friendships are imperfect; depending upon the circumstances we may not always be so lucky as to have friends who will genuinely give us space when we need it, and yet it’s important to remind ourselves that we aren’t alone, and that we are living in a shared world. If we aren’t exactly drowning in friendships, then meet-up groups are another good alternative.
We are embodied organisms. We are capable of incredible ways of movement (ask a dancer, martial artist or gymnast). Just as the acting of writing is also one of exploring ideas while doing so, so to is the act of movement. If we’re feeling trapped, going for a stroll can help remind us not only of the world around us that we share, but also that we are not, as I like to put it, just brains in jars — which how we can especially feel when we are “very online.”
The economy at the whim of a larger storm, which means that those of us who are currently looking for work may be finding it harder. This can chip away at our sense of self-worth, facing the silence of recruiters, the lack of a response in our inbox. It’s important to remind ourselves of the wider storm happening around us that — fairly or not — is making all of our efforts to live normal lives that much harder. Find grace with yourself. Even people who habitually stick to strict timelines can benefit from switching gears.
Being able to look forward allows to avoid getting stuck in the mud of the present. Perhaps there’s a language course being taught via Continuing Ed that you can sign up for? Perhaps the local art gallery is having a debut next week? Maybe driving out of town with friends is something to plan? I’m not suggesting filling our calendars, because that’s another kind of stress, but looking forward to things is important when we’re struggling with the present.
Those are just a few thoughts.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
filed under: anxiety• art• complexity• creatitivy• depression• friendships• general info• grief• psychotherapy• resilience• socialization• society• stress
18 December 2024
When Compulsion Doesn’t Work
As well as being a therapist, I’m also a published author. I mostly work on novels, but have also published short fiction and personal essays. Speaking with an artist/friend a while back we agreed that, for those of us with a professional artistic practice, its not really a decision per se to create. It’s more a compulsion. And this can be helpful, at least in terms of productivity. And yet, recently, I’ve found that it can backfire.
That same ability to sit one’s proverbial butt down and get to work might not do us many favours if other areas our life — the work that actually pays the bills, our personal responsibilities — require us to, well, chill for a bit. In other words, it’s possible to be too good at an otherwise good thing sometimes, especially when burnout is lurking around the corner.
We ultimately aren’t doing ourselves any favours if we’re collapsing at our self-imposed finish line. We end up not being able to “be there” for our friends and loved ones, let alone be responsible to more practical responsibilities (our job-job, for example). I like to use the example of someone who’s learning a musical instrument; we plug away and plug away, and we’re doing really well, but then we find we hit a wall — we’re stuck practicing the same piece of music without a sense of moving forward. It becomes ironic that the thing which lifts us from our day-to-day toil ends up feeling too constricting. Speaking personally, as a sometimes musician, it’s good to take a break, so that at a later date we can come back and rediscover our relationship with music with a refreshed perspective. This can also apply to things such as going to the gym, learning a second language, even baking bread.
The things which give us joy, which serve to deliver us from the day-to-day toil of paying the bills, shouldn’t be a source of resentment. Although, generally speaking, treating these things with the discipline of a “job” can certainly be helpful in terms of productivity, they shouldn’t feel like a job. Humility takes many forms, and knowing when to take a break from a personal hobby or creative practice, to understand when we need a break in order to gain perspective is in itself, I feel, an art form.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
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