4 June 2012

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What If I Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me?

It’s quite possible to want to see a therapist and yet not exactly know what it is that you really want to talk about: something’s going on, but it isn’t clear enough to say it’s ______.

This may feel odd, because sometimes we feel that we should have “the proper language” for everything. When we don’t have the proper words or phrase (or don’t feel we even understand what it is) it can be frustrating. For some people, not knowing the proper words can be stigmatizing.

As a result, on occasion people wonder if it’s worth it to see a therapist if they can’t name what it is that’s bugging them. Some may be afraid of wasting my time (not to mention theirs).

If you book an initial appointment with a therapist under these conditions, one of the following three things is likely to happen:

1) after some discussion, the foggy feeling you have may start to look less-foggy, you may be able to put some words (proper or not) to it, and you’ll want to continue exploring and self-defining.

2) after some discussion, you discover the foggy feeling isn’t nearly as important as something else you were able to discover in the same session, and you will want to continue exploring that.

3) after some discussion, you decide that, while it was worth investigating the foggy feeling, it doesn’t seem significant enough to explore further – a course of subsequent appointments with the therapist may not be necessary.

In other words, there’s no need to feel that you are wasting your time (and certainly not mine!). Everyone could benefit from sitting down and opening up about themselves, even if it doesn’t seem to go anywhere, even if it doesn’t go beyond the initial appointment.