31 October 2012
How Long Does Therapy Take?
When does it end?
It’s a good question, and there are a few reasons why this is raised:
• If you’ve never been in therapy before (i.e. you are starting from scratch and overwhelmed by all of the information you discover) it may be a source of comfort to look for structure; to see if there is a beginning, middle, and end to the process.
• Some modes of therapy advertise a pre-set number of sessions. After, say, nine sessions, they will isolate your issue and you will have been handed rational strategies for dealing with it. A problem with this approach is: what if that issue isn’t “it”? What if there’s more to it than the “it” someone told you you suffered from? Not least, what if you are suffering from something that doesn’t lend itself to rational strategies (grief for the loss of a loved one, for example)?
• You may think that seeing a therapist creates an addiction or crutch which you will not be able to shake, thus endangering your independence.
Whether you are experienced in therapy or not, not many people look forward to the unknown. If you are concerned about “how many sessions”, then this is a conversation you should have with your therapist at the outset (along with standard questions about rates, cancellation fees, and directions to their office).
I can’t tell you from the outset how many sessions you and I will have. It would be foolish of me to do so because each individual is different and each individual has a unique spectrum of concerns they may wish to discuss. However, I do make it clear to my clients that they are in charge of stopping and starting therapy – what good would this process be if that choice were taken away from you?
If you want to see a therapist but are scared of how long it may take, why not find a therapist you think you’d like to see and book an initial session, with no commitment for a follow-up?
Concerned about a therapist’s qualifications? Perhaps you should ask whether they belong to a professional association, such as CAPT, which ensures that its members practice within clear, established ethical guidelines (among which, respectful termination of therapy would fall within).
Remember: if it’s important to you, then it deserves to be raised. If a prospective therapist can’t answer your questions to your satisfaction then it’s probably best that you consider someone else.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
filed under: general info• modality• psychotherapy
17 September 2012
You’re Just Going To Ask Me About My Parents, Right?
Short answer: not really.
Less-short answer…
The legacy of so-called classic (or Freudian) psychoanalysis is that, from the outside (where most people stand in relation to talk-therapy) the process seems to be nothing more than talking about our parents. Regardless of whether, like me, a therapist practices a modern (or evolving) approach or whether they prefer the classic perspective, this perception from the outside can be difficult to undo.
After all, most (but not all) of us spend the first 17-21 years of our lives under the same roof as our parents. Whether they be our birth-parents or our adoptive-parents, all of us were raised by others until we could fend for ourselves. This makes an indelible mark on us. Patterns for how we perceive others are etched by our self-with-other relationships from an early age: from parents, caretakers, siblings, friends, and strangers.
I suppose what I am getting at is that our relationship with our social environment is inevitably affected by social influences from childhood (and continuing onward). This can be a little frustrating for the individually-driven client who wants to get to the bottom of something, who, upon being asked a question relating to their childhood feels disappointment that all the attention is now going to be put on how well they got along with their parents in the past and not what’s going on with them right now.
I do believe that the present is everything: what’s bugging us today is the whole reason we seek therapy to begin with. But the present is informed by the past. No matter how much we aim on keeping things focused on the here-and-now, context is king, and context is a past-tense thing. Therapy is not about your parents, it’s about you, so once any applicable information (or feeling) is provided from your childhood it should be viewed within the framework of the here-and-now, within the framework of today and not simply a meditation on yesterday. Your past contributes in shaping the way you see and react to things, so it is always good to explore previous experiences in order to make present conflicts clearer. Parents and caretakers play a role in this, but it is just a that: a role in the larger picture of you.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
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