28 March 2016
Here Comes Success…
It’s possible that, on paper at least, we can appear to have achieved success – even wild success – and yet feel little in the way of connection with it. You might be surprised to hear that this situation isn’t particularly rare, although there can be many causes for feeling this way.
One contributing factor might be growing up in an environment where nothing we did was good enough for one or both of our parents. Got an A? Why wasn’t it A+? Got a scholarship? Well, there’s plenty of unemployed people with scholarships out there.
Another factor might be the way we feel about ourselves; like a variation of the above example except turned inward for some reason, where a verdict of “not enough” is heard no matter how many hurdles we might jump, no matter how many digits our income may increase by.
It is not rare to be “successful” (that is to say, financially well-off, with a good job in an interesting career…or perhaps it’s just doing the thing we always thought we’d do, no matter how much we get paid) and yet feel alone, and directionless. In other words, feeling like there’s a disparity between how we feel and how we think we should be feeling.
If this describes you, then perhaps you might benefit from examining our ideas about yourself, as well as your emotional connection to the world, with a therapist. Just a thought.
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
filed under: anxiety• change• failure• general info• happiness• men• perfectionism• self• success• women
29 January 2016
When A Celebrity Moves On
This month saw the deaths of performers such as David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Kitty Kallen, and Alan Rickman. One month. Happy January.
When we lose someone, even if they aren’t family but someone well-known – a musician, say, whose music was always there in the background of our lives – it can force us to put our own lives into perspective. Suddenly, no matter how old we are, we are made older. The continuity of having a beloved actor or performer always around us can have the effect similar to that of an extended family member…or a family member we wished we had. And, similarly, we can mourn as if we lost someone close to us, even if we never met them.
During these moments we begin to pay attention to ourselves, our accomplishments or lack thereof, using this famous performer’s career as a map of our own less famous trajectory. And, depending upon how we feel, we may end up feeling more lonely, less assured, or perhaps feel that the future is less clear.
This is a good time to talk it out, or, if there’s no one available, perhaps writing about your thoughts in a journal or web blog. Life is life, and when I’m working with clients I’m happy to allow the events which don’t directly involve my clients – like the passing of a well-known performer – to come into the room. Sometimes it can allow the client to search deeply and find feelings and connections they didn’t realize were with them but not realized.
[note: when I first posted this I included singer Joe Cocker’s name, however, while indeed he has passed away, it turns out that this happened a number of years ago.]
If you are interested in learning more about my services, about me, or perhaps booking an appointment, please call me at 416-873-7828 or email me at info@downtowntherapy.ca for more information.
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