1 May 2024

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The phone call

There’s a line that Martin Short gives to Steve Martin in the first season of the streaming mystery-comedy Only Murders in the Building, in relation to their much younger accomplice, played by Selena Gomez. At one point Short says to Martin, like an admonition: “They don’t use the phone!“

There’s an issue with “the phone”. Not smartphones per se, but making (and receiving) actual phone calls. And there’s a healthy population of younger people who eschew this mode of communication. In an age of texting, messaging and emailing, part of me intuitively wonders whether an overemphasis on visual culture (emphasizing, no surprise, visual media, even if it is purely textual) makes an auditory-only experience less certain, more potentially anxiety-provoking without a visual aid to provide continuity. In the way that an experienced swimmer who might’ve never dived deeply below the surface of the water tries snorkeling, where you can’t breathe but are blessed with recognizing the vibrant, humbling universe that lies beneath the surface of ocean.

I write the above and then stop and reflect on my 70s-90s TV-addled youth, and I wonder whether the target I’m looking for is more diffuse. Less certain

I also don’t want to be a fuddy-duddy about culture and make reductionist assumptions around entire generations (<- this should be a t-shirt).

Some people who are interested in seeking psychotherapy aren’t aware that — in the event an in-person session isn’t possible, or a video call is inconvenient (and there are many ways this can be) — a phone call can be, in a strange (if antiquated) way, more liberating. You don’t have to worry about making eye contact. You don’t have to worry about being (literally) seen. You don’t have to worry about someone judging the environment where you’re calling from (even though both you and I know that they shouldn’t in the first place). It can be surprisingly vulnerable, and with the absence of a visual aid, even meditative. For a variety of reasons, many clients prefer it.

Something to keep in mind!